So okay, about a year ago, a bird was flying around in our basement, which is attached to our garage, so it’s like no big mystery how it got in there.
But then I was all paranoid and stated asking Zoo questions like, what color was the bird? What color was the bird exactly? Because I had to figure out if it was an omen of death.
He wasn’t all that helpful, and got tired of me showing him googled pictures of birds and asking, does this look like the bird?
I finally decided it didn’t count at all since it didn’t come in through a window, but rather, an open garage door and then a door. Maybe.
The woodpecker came a few months later, drumming the shit out of our wooden shed. And then I think that same summer, a bird flew directly at my head. Seriously, if I didn’t duck, I probably would have died. Or been hurt. Or…something.
Anyway, so the other night I tell Zoo, a bird flew into me again.
Zoo: What do you mean, again?
Steph: It happened last year too.
Zoo: Something is really wrong with you.
Steph: With me, or the birds?
So anyway, the sparrow flew through the openings of a wrought iron fence around the patio into my thigh and I screamed and brushed at it and touched it because it happened so fast I really didn’t know what it was. And the sparrow was on the ground looking at me and kind of fluttered its wing and then it flew away. Like, the bird might’ve been giving me the bird. Gus, the incredible bird dog, did nothing. Because he’s a bird dog who does not notice birds at all. Seriously – he’ll walk into his pen and the birds sit on the ground waiting for him and then they fly into his face and scare him, and he runs back to me all freaked out.
I’m wondering if the bird wanted to attack me. Or if maybe I’m invisible to birds? Or maybe I have the power of invisibility and it just turns on at weird times? Like when I’m around birds? Or maybe the birds are working with the spiders and the crickets? There are so many possibilities.
Anyway, I went inside and asked my mother if I was going to die of bird flu. Wondered if I should change my pants. Because, hi, a bird just flew into me.
Her response? Wash your hands really well.
Has this ever happened to you? I mean, it doesn’t seem to have happened to anyone in the world because I googled things like, what does it mean if birds keep flying into you? and came up with nothing.
I was pretending it meant something good but then I found out some jackhole used my address to register their car and had to call the police. So right now, if I had to say, a bird flying into your thigh means someone is going to use your home address to register their 94 Impala.
We spent part of last week in Pittsburgh for the kid’s (planned) spinal surgery – and she’s doing wel.l (I can’t say that too much or the karma gods come down and wreak havoc so…) We’re just happy to be home and that our trees are back.
Tiny, tiny trees compared to what we had. *sobs* I need them to grow like 3 feet overnight because let me tell you – seeing my neighbor these last weeks has MORE than made up for the 10 years he was hidden behind trees. So yes, I talk to them a lot and tell them that’s what they need to do. I hope they listen better than Gus. Because Gus seems to act like that’s not his name. He must think, Man, that Gus must be a real pain in the ass because she’s always calling his name…
Anyway, Zane’s book revisions are done and Cam’s galleys are done (that’s pretty much my last step before it becomes a real book, so that’s good) – now I dive back into Mace’s book (I’m tentatively calling it In The Air Tonight but I don’t know if that will stick.) But I’m really loving it – I’ve been waiting a couple of years to write it and it’s all new and fun and shiny.
Which means, give me a few weeks and I’ll start whining for sure.
What’s up with everyone? Enjoying the weather? Any good news / fun news?
So Zoo’s co-workers gave him a snuggie for Christmas. He looks like a cross between a monk and a cult leader. And then today, the same people gave Gus a snuggie. A large snuggie.
Large snuggies are not made for large weims. Never mind the fact that Gus was totally humiliated and would never wear this. Currently, he’s not speaking to us.
But dude, look at the floating orbs! They’re only in that picture…maybe it’s the ghost that lives on my second floor? No really, he does. And, at times, he smokes cigars. Drives me nuts.
Anyway, TOO HOT TO HOLD (aka Nick’s book) is out in 6 days! Well, five by the time I post this. And on New Year’s Eve, I’ll be guest blogging over at RomCon, so come on over and say hello! (I’ll update with a direct link when I have it.)
I have a book due on Jan 4th, btw. Instead of writing, I’m watching Chip Coffey get pushed down some stairs on Paranormal State. I blame the snuggies.
The cookies are baked. And tested, multiple times. The book? Not done. Not nearly done. So I’m going to steal as much time as I can over the next few days to work – helps that Zoo does the cooking, you know? I can set up and work until people arrive tonight, as we have Christmas Eve here. Christmas Day is also here, but it’s quiet and relaxing and really nice.
Gus agrees, especially because there’s snow for him.
So, Merry Christmas to all! Thanks to everyone who stops by to say hi or who comes by and simply reads. Thanks to all my blogger friends and writer friends and readers. Thanks for all the fantastic emails I’ve been getting in regards to Hard to Hold – when I tell you your email makes my day, I’m not lying. Reader mail is simply the best stuff there is, and I love knowing that someone’s getting enjoyment from something that I loved creating.
1. The extremely talented and generousAnn Aguirre (aka Ava Gray) is having some cool giveaways on her blog this week in honor of Christmas – I’m up there today, so head on over and check it out!
2. I’ll be chatting tomorrow night over at LIST at 8PM EST – come on over and have some fun!
3. The tree is up. Gus, however, is far too enthralled by the idea of having an actual piece of the outdoors in the house. He’s like, dude, it’s like having a stick anytime I want – all I need to do is rip it off myself!
Me: Zoo, Gus is chewing on a piece of the tree!
Zoo: At least his breath will be evergreen fresh.
4. Amount of actual Christmas shopping accomplished : Zero. Why can’t the tree be enough?! It is for Gus…
New York Times Bestselling author Stephanie Tyler writes what she loves to read — romantic suspense novels starring military heroes and paranormal romance novels novels starring warrior heroes, all complete with happy endings. Her alter-ego is SE Jakes and she also co-writes as Sydney Croft. She lives in New York with her husband, her kids and her crazy Weimaraner, Gus.