The other night I watched Anacondas. The second one, with the Blood Orchids. (I was supposed to be writing, but let’s not even go there.) And now I’ve got to rank it up there as the type of movie that drives me absolutely crazy, because it’s got all the elements to be really terrific and blows its chances. Mainly because, in this case, the snakes were more developed than the characters. Which becomes a real problem by the end of the movie.

I mean, I just knew the hero was Special Forces, even though that didn’t come out until almost the end of the movie. All the signs were there that he was just driving some piece of crap boat to escape the things he’d done in his tortured past. My favorite kind of hero. From the second we met him in the seedy bar, I was like, okay, this movie might’ve been worth the payperview fee. But they gave him maybe three lines to explain his entire past. And they were a really bad three lines. Didn’t work for me. I could’ve done SO MUCH with this script. Why didn’t they consult me?

This movie would’ve benefitted from more romance. More of a build-up. I loved the fact that the woman the hero ends up with is tough, was tough through the entire movie. But I didn’t like the fact that, at the start of the movie and most of the way throughout, it was a free for all in terms of character attraction. Too many red-herrings impeded the relationships. I wanted to see the spark between Special Forces Hero and Southern Accent Heroine ASAP. (have you figured out by now that I’ve totally forgotten their names.)

So I’m ranking this one up right up there with my all-time favorite, could’ve been awesome movie, Roadhouse. Which means, whenever Anacondas & The Blood Orchid comes to TNT and they show it repeatedly for years to come, I’ll watch it every time. And complain bitterly.

Linda – I’m writing! Almost done with edits and I need thirteen more pages. I moved a couple of scenes around, toyed with rewriting the ending and then promptly fell asleep.

And, in between finishing the book, I’ve got to pack the entire upstairs of the house away. Because, you know, construction hell.

I wonder if the Anaconda & The Blood Orchid rental is still active…

Steph T.