Today we’re going shopping. For kitchen countertops.

Did I mention we’re blowing out the back half of the house this spring?

Did I mention it makes me want to cry just thinking about it?

I know it’s going to be really cool once it’s done, but I’m thinking there’s going to be NOTHING COOL about the renovation itself. Unless…

Somewhere out there is a roving band of SEALs who do housing renovations on the side. They’ve just come back from some secret mission to whereverthefuck (I know they’ll tell me eventually if I pester them enough and offer them homemade cookies, made by someone other than me, of course because I can keep a secret, especially a classified one.) and they’re thinking, Hey, we’ve got some downtime and smashing out walls sounds really cool. Maybe we can use dynamite and grenades to blow this mother up.

So the entire team shows up and for about four months I get to ask them questions about anything I want. I’d ask things like…

Tell me what it feels like, exactly, to HALO jump out of a plane into the freezing cold ocean and insert into enemy territory and don’t leave out a single detail. (I have to ask them this since Larissa won’t cooperate and try this out for me and forced me to just make it all up in chapter five of the WIP.)

(I might have just scared them all away. Nah — SEALs are tougher than that, right?)

So, if you know any SEALs looking for some in-between missions work, send them over.

If not, Larissa’s definitely jumping out of that plane for me.

Steph T.