Steph must’ve taken too much of this cold medicine stuff, because she didn’t even hear me slide the laptop away from her and trust me — she’s a light sleeper. But I’ve got to have a talk with her about her password protected items on this thing, because I got into her blog software in no time and here I am.

Laisse les bons temps rouler.
(for those of you who don’t know — I’m half Cajun and part gypsy)

Hang on a second — what’s that, Nick? Yeah, yeah, I know — I won’t download any viruses on her computer. I know — I don’t want to hear her bitch and moan about it either.

Since all she does is talk about Jake or Nick, I’ve got to get my name on here somehow. I’m married, not dead, for Christ sakes. And hell, she’s gotta start pushing my book if she wants to get it out there and published some time this century. It’s the first book in the trilogy and I will never hear the end of it if it doesn’t sell first. Mebbe if I take a trip to New York myself things will happen faster. And now I hear one of her goals is patience. Not a trait I find necessary at all. We’re gonna talk when she wakes up – about conflict, about writing faster, about finishing books. We’re not gonna talk about patience.

Screw patience.

Hang on another second — Jake’s yelling something now…

…says he hears he’s being blamed for all of you dropping like flies. Says that when he saw Sasha the other night, she seemed perfectly healthy to him. More than perfectly healthy. In fact, she was so perfectly healthy….

Aw, chere, you blushing over there? Jake, she’s blushing.

Nick — what the hell are you doing in Steph’s stocking? Hey, is that the new U2 CD? Open that up. Why isn’t she sharing more?

I notice she failed to mention the gifts we got her for Christmas:

-Special Ops Guide to Endurance Techniques by Chris McNab (every house should have one of these)
-Trident Heart Pendant
-small grenade (for security purposes)
-lots of chocolate (she loves the stuff — seems to make her happy and when she’s happy she writes more)

Look — my beeper’s going. Probably have to go save the world or something. While I’m gone, use the time to stop thinking in terms of virtues (like patience) and start thinking in terms of vices…

I’ll be back for that lecture.