Ah – the wonderful world of women. Alison blogged about it, and I just wonder if we’re all on some sort of weird cosmic plane together, since I’ve been thinking about this one since yesterday. A good friend/writing buddy had emailed me with a question about a recent submission after someone on another writer’s loop said something that didn’t exactly instill confidence in her. And I wondered why it is that some people take such joy in making other people feel like complete crap, especially since this is by no means the first time I’ve had this happen to writing friends of mine from varying sources?
Okay, I do know. It’s jealousy, plain and simple mixed with a great deal of insecurity. And yes, writer/artist types might be slightly more susceptible since our work is more personal, and since we’re constantly feeling rejection sometimes we lash out at the wrong people. But it’s still not an excuse to dismiss someone else’s accomplishments, whether it be a sale, a request for a partial or a full or even a good rejection, by saying something in an offhand/backhand or just outright obnoxious way. And yes, I think when you get too many women together in the same place, there’s bound to be trouble. Look at the new group of women in The Apprentice – do they not completely suck or what? I’ve never seen a bigger bunch of no talents – and all they do is bitch and moan and backstab. I was so upset they kicked Pamela off last week, and I don’t think she deserved to go. I want that little attorney gone. She bugs the ever living crap out of me. If that’s the business world, I want no part of it.
I really do think the best way to avoid all of this crap is to stay off the writer’s loops as much as you can. Start slowly – if you don’t want to completely unsubscribe, set your group to no email. That way when the spirit moves you, you can pop on. I’d unsubscribed to all writer’s loops a while ago except for RWC, which is set to no email. The other two groups are small crit groups with writers I’ve known for a while who constantly inspire me and lift me up when I need it. And then I have Katie, my one to one CP, a few other writer friends who email back and forth for support, and my other inner circle, which consist of the wonderful writers/friends I’ve met through blogging. And I have to admit that I feel really lucky to have gotten into such a warm and supportive group by pure chance. I mean, you know by now that I’m a complete blog addict and love being able to pop onto all the blogs on my sidebar and feel like someone is in the same boat as I am. It means a lot.
So chose your writing friends carefully. Writing’s a hard enough business as it is without all the negativity.
BTW – my writing forum went down too. Crashed about a week before poor Sylvia’s did. Eventually I’ll get stuff back up there, but for now, I think I’d better just put my head down and write.