Okay, first off, rejection sucks. I don’t care what kind of letter you get. And seriously, I’m not sure which is the better letter – the personal rejection or the form rejection or the form letter that tries to be personal. And I’m still not sure if it’s better to have the rejection come fast or slow and if it means something either way. Anyway – as I’m sure you can tell by this slight rant and the title of this entry, I received a rejection yesterday – on a requested full from an agent. And yeah, I was upset (actually, more pissed than anything, but I won’t go into the whys of that). But, after about an hour, I didn’t give a shit anymore. Really. I didn’t threaten to quit writing (my usualy MO) or cry or turn off the computer. Instead, I wrote a query letter for my new book, prepared my next batch of letters and shrugged the rejection off.

I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not, but I’d like to think it is. I got into writing to take my mid off what was going on with my baby girl in the hospital. And, back then. when I wrote just for the sake of writing, I enjoyed the hell out of it, looked forward to getting up every single day to write. And, as I’ve been subbing to agents/pubs for a while now, I realized I was starting to lose that joy. I want it back, and I guess I decided to take it back yesterday. Maybe it’s because I’ve been getting much further in the whole process than I was a few months ago, maybe I’m making progress or maybe I just know, deep down in my heart, that the agents and editors who reject me are just plain wrong. I don’t mean that in a conceited or egotistical way. It’s more of a quiet resignation that this life chose me long before I chose it, and I’m going to stick with it no matter what.

Steph T. 12:14 pm