Okay – reality T.V. shows usually don’t hook me. Even The Newlyweds didn’t hook me at first (really, the chicken of the sea and the I don’t eat buffalo comments made me want to scream). But yesterday there was an all-afternoon marathon of the first season on MTV. My daughter was asleep, my husband was out, so really, why take that opportunity to write when I could do something else totally unrelated and non-productive? So I caught the two Christmas episodes.

The first thing I noticed was that, as Nick and Jessica flew to 18 different shows in a two week period of time, they were alone (besides the cameras, of course). They were renting their own car, toting their own luggage, waiting for their luggage to come through the carousel (bringing to mind a recent and most horrifying episode when my daughter’s high chair and playpen did not arrive where and when we did – a totally different story, complete with an almost nervous breakdown on my end). And they’re lugging their own crap back and forth to the hotel room, living out of a messy suitcase and just plain whining. I can ALWAYS relate to that. In the next episode, they went home to their families for Christmas. Sitting around, eating off paper plates, stringing lights and looking at each other like, “we were spawned from these people?”

Of course, there were a few small differences. My parents didn’t get me a brand new Mercedes for the holiday, nor did I get a few diamond tennis bracelets or a brand new closet from California Closet (complete with someone hanging up and organizing my clothes).

Maybe Jessica’s parents could invite me home for Christmas next year. I don’t mind paper plates.

Steph T.