So, I own this shirt:
And I was wearing it the other day when I went outside to…
Wait, WTF was I doing outside? Rarely happens. Anyway, must’ve been a compelling reason, like an Amazon box gone astray. And I saw one of my neighbors while wearing my shirt.
Neighbor: Do you wear that T-shirt around your son?
Me: Yes. He’s having trouble sounding out assassin.
Neighbor: *frowns* Do you think that sends the right message?
Me: It’s fine. It’s not like he knows I have them.
Me: Have a great day!
Zoo: We’re definitely not getting invited to the mid-winter party.
Me: That’s just another perk!